Since re-embarking on my spiritual quest, my destiny as a witch (or whatever I am calling it today) I have had a few moments when I re-remember things that I knew a long time ago, or did a long time ago perhaps even without knowing why and seeing things that I have always taken for granted in a new light or piece together information in a different way. Things are clearer perhaps.
For example, a couple of weeks ago when I was reading something about broomsticks I suddenly remembered that when I was younger; I can’t remember exactly when but I would have been under 10 we went somewhere as a family, possibly to stay with grandparents in Norfolk and I made, with masses of help from my parents a broomstick, I remember it was something I was quite obsessive about that I really needed to make one and that we absolutely had to take it home with us, I have a memory of it being poked into the back of the car that was already bursting full of other stuff. During that same holiday I developed a fear of fire which totally overtook me for a while, gave me a lot of trouble sleeping and a lot of anxiety.
I’m of course wondering now if I have been a witch in Norfolk before. Did my visit there trigger something? Did I re-remember a past life. Was I a witch there? Was I burned?
Another thing I remembered is that when we moved out of our family home when I was 12, it was the only home I had ever known and I was pretty devastated to be leaving, I wrote on the walls before I left ‘This is [my name here]’s room so look after it’ and in other rooms of the house and perhaps slightly more sinister sounding: ‘This is our house and will always be’. Baby-witch spellcasting perhaps? Somebody I know recently went to do some work in the house and told me that the family had had the place exorcised. We always knew that there were presences there though they never really bothered us apart from making me occasionally feel spooked when I was little; it was an old house. I can’t help wondering though, particularly because when I dream about the house which I still do even over 25 years after we moved, I can no longer get onto the grounds, I can’t move past the front gate. Quite when that change happened I can’t be sure but is it because of that exorcism? Was I really going there in my dreams?
I was having sort of mini thoughts about this sort of thing without really putting it all together until a couple of weeks ago when I had a dream about the house over the road from my old home, once again I was loitering in the road because I couldn’t get up the driveway and there was something very sinister going on, the ‘over the road’ next door neighbours (which is the closest house) were murderers of some sort I thought although it was not explicit and I couldn’t really work out what was going on.
Later that week I was in the old ‘hood and took a small detour to go past the house for old times sake and because it holds a special place in my heart. As I drove past I stared in disbelief; the beautiful old cottage opposite which had always been owned when we live there by a lovely lady who we would take posies of flowers to in Springtime and who revelled in her own stunning, mature and classically English garden was being remodeled, a gorgeous old wall, nesting site for swallows and martins and home to a fantastically old wisteria had been demolished, two or three stunning old silver birches chopped down and who knows how many other beautiful plants churned up and hacked down by excavators and other toothed, metal beasts. This was the murder I had dreamed. I knew it as a complete and honest truth. I had dreamed this. This is what lead me to the conclusion that I was going there in my dreams and therefore that perhaps it was me (and perhaps other members of my family too) that had been exorcised from the house either as the main focus or perhaps as an accidental bonus exorcism when the other guardians of the property were banished too.
This knowledge seemed to unlock something in me too, as I drove up the road still reeling and shedding tears from the decimation I had seen and apologising to those lost as well as nature in general from my fellow humans senseless destruction when I thought about some cottages which used to be further up the road, not in my lifetime but that I had read about and talked to my family about; I remember looking for the old steps to them with my dad and my mum showing me the remains of old gardens long since gone wild but with the odd telltale once cultivated flower still peeping through. I looked at where they would have once stood and said out loud ‘I bet no one who lives here even knows or cares that cottages once stood there’ then surprising even myself I said ‘that is where the healer lived’. It just came out of me and that was something I have never read about or discussed with anyone else but again, once I said it I knew it to be true.
These things, these re-rememberings and piecing together may not seem like much to you reader but to me they are little pieces of myself. Know thyself. The best advice anyone can ever get and the eternal task for us all. This is me coming into my power by trusting my intuition, seeing my dreams become reality, knowing that I exist in more than one dimension, that I have lived before, that as Lisa Lister quotes her friend and coven sister in Witch ‘I am the witch you did burn and I’m back bitches’.
Yes I am back. Blessed be!