Yes goodbye and good riddance Mercury Retrograde. I will admit I am no astronomer or astrologer and I only know about the Mercury Retrograde from my clever friends on Instagram (thank you all, once again by the way). Had I not been informed of this astronomic phenomenon however, I would have not understood the odd and rather unpleasant feelings(understatement of the year!) I have been having over the last few weeks. But lets face it however enlightened we are, however self aware it’s always nice to have someone or something to blame for how we are feeling (when it’s a negative feeling of course!)
Things were going well, I was learning, absorbing information, remembering and re-remembering things I knew but had forgotten, I was doing spell work, manifesting, herb work, practising yoga with my little one and had been having success with dowsing too. The latter I had sort of forgotten about when I was reminded by some wonderful old letters and diaries I found what an incredible tool it can be, for communication, for finding lost objects, people or for finding information. I had some emotional and much needed communication with a loved one and was also able to have some questions answered which had been plaguing me. For now I am using odd bits of jewelry but I plan to buy a proper dowsing crystal soon.
When my sister recently bought one she was looking at a whole display of them in a shop when her daughter pointed out that one of them was already swinging, needless to say that is the one she bought. I plan to go to the same shop to get mine as that, to me, is a recommendation indeed! Anyway, I digress but you get the picture. I was making progress. mentally, physically and spiritually…
Then suddenly following March 22nd things started unraveling. I felt that, like Mercury, I was going backwards.
Before I started writing this blog I was experiencing much grief, I had lost my sense of spirituality and my beliefs were shaken. Over the last 3 weeks I had a short blast of that all over again.
I felt too uninspired to write this blog, wasn’t interested in doing any ‘witchy’ reading or felt able to do anything witchy at all really, I didn’t see the point. I haven’t even been able to meditate, which is something that I usually find comes as naturally to me as breathing and something I have really needed as well to help me through this difficult time.
I went to the West Kennet Long Barrow and Avebury in the hope it would help me to reconnect with myself, my higher self, the Earth, the spirit energy, everything. However, it didn’t really work I couldn’t even connect to the energy there in two of my favourite spiritual places, my spiritual homes as it were. My energy just felt closed, blocked, weighed down by my grief again.
Now that the retrograde is over and the new moon is here I am feeling connected again, am able to write, to read, I finally looked up some wildflowers in a reference book that I didn’t recognise but couldn’t see the importance of learning about, I also started reading up on homeopathy for children, have been inspired to tend to my plants again in a more than just perfunctary manner. My parenting is back on par I am no longer feeling short tempered and inpatient. My diet is getting back to normal and I am fuelling myelf with heatlhy food once more I am also stepping away from the bottle once again after feeling the need the unwind with a glass or two every evening for the last couple of weeks.
Yes my retrograde is over along with Mercury’s and I feel great for it. Now it’s over I can see that it hasn’t all been bad. I reconnected with an old friend through some reminiscing and have plans to meet up more regularly. Also, today to celebrate the end of the retrograde I spent the afternoon picnicking and playing on grassland and woodland near to my childhood home with my daughter. Going back to old haunts, remembering fun times and creating new ones. So. Yes, I stepped back into my grief and despair for a short while and it was hard but it has also served to remind me just how far I have come.
Thank you for joining me on my journey!